


Who's children are These?

by schlatt_lovr



Series: Python Kids AU [1]
Category: Monty Python RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cute Kids, F/M, Family, Fluff, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23976691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schlatt_lovr/pseuds/schlatt_lovr
Summary: The pythons as children, found on someone's doorstep.  John is 8, Vance (Gilliam) is 7, Graham is 6, Terry (Jones) is 5, and Eric and Michael are 4.  Story is told in first person by an original character of mine.  Ideas of what the six of them look like can be found on my Twitter @MontyPythonFan8 .
Relationships: Graham Chapman/Eric Idle, John Cleese/Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones/Michael Palin
Series: Python Kids AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728727
Kudos: 7





	1. Who's Children are These?

**Author's Note:**

> For me, this is something very new. I've been playing with the idea for this for quite a while, so hopefully enjoy!

I remember that day as if it were yesterday. It was a crisp october morning, and I was off doing some gardening out behind the house. I heard a knock at the door, so I came ‘round to the porch to find the six boys sitting on the step. “What’re you kids doing here? Where are your parents?”

The oldest of them spoke. “Don’t know Sir. We were told this was our new home.” The rest nodded. How could this be? I’ve never had a child with anyone.

“Well, who told you this?” The boy looked upset.

“ ‘Fraid I don’t know Sir. Vance, Gray, and I have lived in an abandoned mill since we could remember. We found the rest of this lot in alleys when we were scrounging over the years. Today, a man came into the mill, and brought us here. He only said for us to follow him, and that this address was to be our new home.” I was stunned. Who would do this?

“Well, you’d better come in then. ‘Til I get to the bottom of this, here will be your home.” I let myself and the boys inside. “Now, sit here while I get you all a snack and a glass of water. Have you eaten yet today?”

“No Sir, thank you very much.” Said the eldest again. The six sat on the sofa while I headed into the kitchen. I emerged with a tray of glasses and a plate of cookies. I set it down on the coffee table, and took a seat in the chair across the sofa. 

“So, what are your names?” I asked. The eldest, of course, spoke first.

“I’m John, Sir. John Cleese. And these fellows are Vance, Gray, Terry, Eric, and Mikey.” I looked at them. The littlest one waved.

“Hi! I’m Michael Palin, but call me Mikey.” I smiled at Michael.

“Hello Mikey. Can the rest of you introduce yourselves, it doesn’t help to have names but not know to whom they belong. The tall blond boy spoke.

“Graham Chapman, nice to meet you.” Graham stuck out his hand. I shook it. Graham then pointed to the small boy with crystal blue eyes. “That there is Eric Idle, but he’s quite shy.” Eric tried to hide behind the very dark haired boy beside him.

“Yes, don’t mind Eric, he’ll warm up to you eventually. Terry Jones, pleasure to meet you.” Ilet out a small chuckle.

“Nice to meet you all. My name is Tobias Hawthorne, but you can call me Toby or Mr. Hawthorne.” Michael looked excited.

“Are you going to be our father?” He asked. I was taken aback.

“Well, for the meantime, yes. Now, go on and eat and drink, and I’ll see about finding out who you belong to.” The boys happily began to eat their cookies and drink their milk as I walked into the kitchen. 

I immediately phoned the police. “Do you know anything about 6 missing children, names are John Cleese, Graham Chapman, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, and Terry Jones?”

“No Sir, there aren't any children missing by those names. Anything else we can help you with today?” I sighed.

“No, thank you. Have a good day,” I hung up. That got me nowhere. Well, I always wanted children, so what could be the harm? I have spare rooms. I walked back into the sitting room and returned to my seat. “Boys, you’re going to stay with me from now on. You can call me your father, papa, dad, anything you like. I’ll have to go out today to get some things for you all, but my car is too small to fit all six. Who are the two oldest?” John spoke.

“Me Sir, and Vance. I’m eight and Vance is seven. Graham is six, Terry is five, and Michael and Eric are both four. Vance and I have been caring for the others for as long as we’ve known each other.” 

“Good. Can I trust you and Vance to behave yourselves while we’re out? No running away, attacking each other, starting fires, or cooking?”

“Yes Sir. We’ll remain in the sitting room and busy ourselves with our dominoes.” John pulled out a ragged bag filled with chipped dominoes. 

“Very well. Boys, do you need to use the restroom before we leave?” Graham and Terry both shook their heads. Michael whispered something to Eric, then shook his head as well. “Right then, off to the store we go.” I brought an old milk crate into the car with me and placed it on the passenger’s seat. “Graham, you’ll sit up here with me. Terry, Eric, and Mikey, sit in the back. The boys all gingerly hopped in the car and buckled the seat belts.

“Oh do call me Gray, I much prefer it. Easier to say, you know.”

“Of course.” We drove off towards the store.


	2. The Store

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby and the youngest four go to buy supplies.

As I peeled into the parking lot, I overheard Terry talking to Michael and Eric. “Michael, button your vest, you might catch a chill. Eric, take your jumper string out of your mouth, it's not sanitary.” I let out a chuckle.

“Do you always look after them like that?” Graham laughed as well.

“Sadly, yes, Terry has always done that. He’s like a lioness and her cubs when it comes to El and Mike.” Eric’s face crumpled.

“No call me that!” He spat. Graham tousled his hair. 

“Sorry old boy, not going to happen.” Graham gave a sly smile. 

“Enough teasing, let’s get our shopping done.” I helped Michael out of the car while Graham helped Eric. Terry hopped out last. “Now, we’ll need to buy two sets of bunks and two regular beds and have them delivered, as well as six dressers. We can acquire desks later, after you’re more settled. Then bedclothes, pillows, and clothes will be needed as well. D’you all know what size clothes you fit? Graham piped up.

“Yes Sir, I know everyone’s.”

“Good. Off we go then.” We entered the furniture store first. “I need items delivered today, is that possible?”

“Yes, Sir. “ Said the store clerk. “What do you need?”

“Two bunk beds, two twin beds, and six dressers.”

“Right-o Sir, we’ll have that for you by the end of the day.”

“Thanks plenty, good man.” Next we ventured through for bedclothes and pillows. “You can each pick a color or pattern you’d like for your bedclothes, while I fetch the pillows. I came back with a trolley and twelve pillows in it. “What have you decided then?”

“Green for me, trucks for Mikey, music notes for Eric, dinosaurs for Terry, black for John, and blue for Vance.” Graham explained.

“Good, that’ll do fine. Now, on to clothes.” After buying the items and putting them in the trunk, we went to the clothes store. “You’ll each need four shirts, four trousers, six underclothes, six pairs of socks, 2 jumpers, a pair of tennis shoes, and a pair of galoshes.” I followed Graham as he led us through the departments, helping them get their clothes. 

Once we packed back into the car to go home, it was about supper time. “Now we can go home, unpack, and enjoy a nice supper.” The boys were thrilled. 

Back home, after everything was unpacked, and supper was finished, the beds and dressers arrived. I moved a bunk and two dressers in the smaller spare rooms, and the larger was filled with the two twin beds and remaining dressers. “John and Graham, you’ll take the first bunked room, Terry and Vance, you’ll take the second. Eldest gets top bunk, for safety. Michael and Eric, you get the third room.” The boys happily made and got into their beds and went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing inspiration comes in waves, so there may not be a new chapter for a while, or there might be one soon. I'm very inconsistent :') .


End file.
